Bobbi Taylor collects her grandfather's stories in a book. Stories about the war, about his wife, his family, everything she can find out about his life.
The 91-year-old will forget them, eventually.
He has Alzheimer's, and Bobbi, 29, has been taking care of him for seven years. She quit her job as a home caregiver to do it. It's stressful and depressing to watch him "go downhill," she said, but anyone can see there's love and laughter in their relationship, too.
"I quit my job and told my family I had to take care of him to keep him out of the nursing home," she said. "I've completely put my life on hold."
He has good moments and bad. He likes to propose to women. He plays the organ in the corner of his living room from memory but he doesn't remember all of the songs he once knew. Often, he wears a befuddled look on his friendly face.
It isn't all bad for Bobbi, though.
"I get these stories. I get to learn my grandpa's stories and experience life through him," she said.
One thing that makes it easier for her is the Alzheimer's Association Inland Northwest Chapter outpost in Coeur d'Alene, and outreach coordinator P.J. Christo.
"I know if I'm struggling, P.J. is there to help," she said.
Christo, however, may not be in Coeur d'Alene much longer. Her donated office space will soon have to be rented out, thanks to cuts in Medicaid. Christo has nowhere else to go after the end of October unless she gets another donated office space.
The Alzheimer's Association in Coeur d'Alene has always operated from donated office space, first at Kootenai Medical Center, and then in an 8-by-10 space in a small office complex on Mill Street.
From there, Christo serves families from the U.S.-Canadian border to Lewiston. She provides information, support, and help to those affected by Alzheimer's. The most recent event for the organization is the 3-mile North Idaho Walk to End Alzheimer's this Sunday, Sept. 29, at Riverstone Park.
While the Spokane headquarters would still serve North Idaho if Christo lost her office space, it wouldn't be the same.
"This little outpost has been an incredible gift to North Idaho," Christo said. "It would be devastating to lose our presence in North Idaho."
The Alzheimer's Association is a 501(c)3, so anyone who donates space will see a tax benefit. Christo needs space of at least 8-by-10 feet with phone and Internet service. It must be somewhat private, safe and well lit. She would prefer handicap access and to remain in Coeur d'Alene, but would move to Hayden or Post Falls if necessary.
What's more important is that she be able to provide the services that families and individuals need when their loved one is suffering from Alzheimer's.
These are people like Carol Anderson, who was a caregiver for her husband, father, and now her mother.
She would have been married for 50 years if her husband, Paul, had lived.
When Alzheimer's becomes acute, sufferers can't even make a phone call because they don't know how. Then they can no longer find the words to explain what is going on and how they feel, she said.
"The fear in their eyes when they can't explain themselves is devastating," Anderson said. "It's like they're living in a box. They cannot talk to you. They can't communicate."
Not only is it heartbreaking, Alzheimer's is also expensive. Anderson went into debt a quarter of a million dollars to provide the care her husband needed.
What's more, the work of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's is time-consuming and endless. Cars must be disabled, locks put on doors, paperwork completed, and the loved one must be watched as their personalities change - sometimes to the exact opposite of who they were before.
It's extraordinarily stressful, said Katie Mans, who with her husband, Jim, cared for her own mother and his when they suffered the disease. The stress expresses itself in caregiver illness.
"I had shingles four times," said Katie Mans, whose mother died in 2003.
Her mother turned secretive. Her handwriting changed. She didn't know why she was taking her medications and she couldn't set her alarm. A day laborer made his home in the basement and ate her food, the horrified family discovered when they arrived at her Billings, Mont., home.
Jim Mans' mother arrived at their home suffering both Alzheimer's and cancer. She died in June. The very first night, she left in an ambulance following a panic attack. She was confused by treatment and needed others to take care of her business and medical care.
The Mans and Anderson were all grateful for the help they received from Christo and the Alzheimer's Association. She understands their stress.
The Mans couple discovered the Alzheimer's Association through one of its support groups, where they felt - for once- that they were not alone, and that help was available.
"When you first start going through the process, you don't know where to turn," Jim Mans said.
"We couldn't do this without P.J.," Anderson said.
* To help, call P.J. Christo at (208) 666-2996.
Walk to End Alzheimer's
The North Idaho Walk to End Alzheimer's is scheduled for Sunday in Riverstone Park.
Registration begins at 8:30 a.m., the opening ceremony starts at 9:45 a.m., and the walk begins at 10 a.m.
For more information, visit http://act.alz.org/NorthIdaho[1] . To get involved with the Alzheimer's Association, call P.J. Christo at (208) 666-2996.
Alzheimer's: A costly epidemic
Alzheimer's is growing to epidemic proportions as the population ages. Between 2000 and 2010, the number of deaths attributable to Alzheimer's rose by 68 percent, while breast cancer, prostate cancer, heart disease, stroke, and HIV have all seen declines.
And unlike these other diseases, nobody survives Alzheimer's. It is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States, and there is no way to cure or prevent it.
It is the most expensive disease known, according to Alzheimer's Association outreach coordinator P.J. Christo.
The Alzheimer's Association projects that costs to Medicare and Medicaid will increase more than 500 percent by 2050, bankrupting America with the expense.
* Facts supplied by the Alzheimer's Association.
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