We may know powerfully and innately what's most important to us, but when it comes to acting on our deepest values, many of us tend to get in our own way.


Self-control is something we all struggle with at one point or another, but it's an important key to both success and happiness. Lacking willpower keeps us in a cycle of instant gratification, making it difficult to change bad habits and to do the things we know are good for us.


According to Kelly McGonigal, author of The Willpower Instinct, willpower comes from a frame of mind that's focused on more long-term goals[1] :


It's almost as if we have two minds. We have one brain that is very responsive to our immediate needs, and when we're in that mindset, we tend to make decisions that are inconsistent with our long-term goals. But we also have this other mindset that thinks about long-term consequences, remembers what our big values are, and takes a kind of expansive view on our lives and our choices. When we're in that mindset .... we tend to do things that make our future self happier and healthier, more productive and successful.

Willpower is what allows us to direct our energy and attention to what we truly care about -- and without it, there can be a big gap between our thoughts and values on the one hand, and our actions on the other.


Whether it's over-spending, over-eating, over-stressing or any other bad habit, the holidays can be a time when stress amplifies our struggles with self-control. Here are seven willpower hacks to help you take control of the things that matter most.


Avoid the object of temptation.


child marshmallows


In the now-famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment[2] , conducted in the late 1960s, children were put in a room by themselves with a marshmallow on a plate in front of them, and told that they could either eat the treat now, or if they waited until the researcher returned 15 minutes later, they could have two marshmallows. Most of the children visibly struggled to resist before giving in and eating the treat.


But the children who were most successful at not eating the treats were those who employed avoidance tactics, like covering their eyes or turning away. Turns out, "out of sight, out of mind," really can be effective, and not just for kids. A 2006 Cornell study[3] of 40 adult secretaries found that they ate an average of 2.2 more candies out of an office candy jar when the jar was visible, and an average of 1.8 more when they were placed in close proximity to the desk, rather than two meters away. Another Cornell study from 2011[4] found that what we see first in the pantry or fridge is what we're most likely to eat.


While it may not be practical in a public setting (as an adult) to cover your eyes with your hands and walk away from the restaurant table to keep yourself from ordering dessert, you can practice avoidance by telling the server not to bring the dessert menu. (Or, if you're at home, make sure that box of cookies doesn't make it into your pantry.)


Give yourself a (conscious) break.


pastry


According to social psychologist Roy Baumeister's theory of willpower[5] , there's a strong psychological reason that crash diets don't work. Our reserves of willpower are finite, says Baumeister, and when we use them all up depriving ourselves for extended periods of time, we'll crash even harder later. For this reason, diets that allow small treats or breaks tend to be more effective in the long-term.


"While wisely exercising self-control is a great way to build willpower, never giving yourself a break is a good way to deplete your resolve," psychologist Denise Cummins explained in a Psychology Today blog[6] .


Take time to de-stress.


reading book


If you're struggling with food or alcohol cravings, stress and lack of sleep will only make the situation worse. Not only does stress deplete willpower[7] , but high levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the body can also worsen cravings for sugar, carbs and alcohol (and these foods, in turn, increase cortisol levels in the body[8] .


"When people are stressed, they tend to fall back on ingrained habits -- whether those habits are helpful or harmful," says Cummins[9] . "Often, this is not a conscious choice. Rather, people resort to old habits without thinking because they are in a stressed state."


If you're looking to maximize your willpower, make time for scientifically-proven stress reducers like meditation[10] , yoga[11] , and exercise[12] . It'll help you make the right decision -- rather than simply the automatic one -- when faced with a temptation.


Create an if-then equation.


decisions


Oftentimes when we think about stopping a bad habit, the only option we give ourselves is to never do it again. But when you're trying to give up a bad habit or exercise self-discipline towards achieving a personal goal, it's helpful to always be prepared with a Plan B in case you slip up. A New York University study[13] of students trying to eat less junk food found that when the students thought through a tempting situation in advance and devised if-then plans for themselves (If I stay for that extra drink at the bar, I'll wake up early to go to yoga), they had an easier time making healthy choices.


"Devising a plan B helps you cope with situations that may undo you (cocktails on Friday night) because it shifts the decision-making moment from the danger zone (when the bartender asks if you would like one more mojito) to a point in time when you're in touch with what you want to achieve (before you even set foot in the bar)," writes Fitness Magazine[14] .


Build positive rituals.


exercise


One way to summon the willpower to break a bad habit? Replace it with a good one, and turn that healthy habit into a daily ritual. Whether it's swapping your daily chocolate croissant for a little granola and yogurt or going on a walk after dinner every night instead of settling into the couch, building rituals is a powerful way to make good behaviors become automatic -- to the point where you don't even need to exercise willpower to make them happen.


"For the things that you decide matter … the only way to ensure that things that aren’t urgent but are important happen is to build rituals," The Energy Project CEO Tony Schwartz told The Huffington Post[15] . "Build highly specific behaviors that you do at precise times over and over again until you don’t have to use energy to get yourself to do it anymore -- until it becomes as automatic as brushing your teeth at night."


Remember to laugh.


laughing


Here's a good reason to take a YouTube break: Research has shown that watching a funny video can help to restore depleted willpower and help you get back on track with challenging tasks, Psychology Today reported[16] .


When you do slip up, forgive yourself and forge ahead.


forgiveness tips


Maybe you indulged a little more than you anticipated on Thanksgiving, or maxed out your credit card during a recent shopping trip. We all slip up sometimes, and beating yourself up about your mistakes isn't going to help boost your willpower. Instead, exercising self-forgiveness and self-compassion after that moment of weakness can play a big role in boosting self-control down the line, McGonigal says[17] . The first step is simply being mindful of the way you're feeling.


"Notice that you're feeling guilty or self-critical, maybe angry at yourself, and actually allow yourself to see those feelings," she says. "A big reason that people go from guilty to giving in again is that they just want to get rid of that feeling. It's overwhelming and they want to distract themselves from it."



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  • Half Sun Salutation (Surya Namaskara)


    Sun Salutation sequences are traditionally performed as a way to awaken the body. "This is great to do upon rising, even before you have had your first cup of coffee," Bielkus says. To perform the sequence, stand up straight in <a href="http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/492" target="_blank">Mountain Pose</a> (<em>Tadasana</em>) with the feet together and arms at the side of the body with open palms. Sweep the arms up and extend them over the head on the inhale, then exhale and bow forward into a forward bend. On the inhale, lift the torso halfway up, place your hands at your shins and extend the spine. Fold forward again on the exhale. When you inhale, sweep back up and bring the palms together into prayer. Repeat this sequence three or four times. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LPLwC4pRzk" target="_blank">Click here </a>for a video tutorial.




  • Camel Pose (Ustrasana)


    The gentle heart-opening stretch of the camel pose -- performed either with the hands on the lower back or reaching down to touch the heels -- can be highly invigorating for the entire body. "Camel is great because it's a total front-body opener," Bielkus says. "You have the front of the legs moving forward. ... The core is stretching and the torso is lengthening up. The chest is really opening and expanding so that the lungs can expand full of breath."




  • Warrior II Pose (Virabhadrasana II)


    "This pose combines both leg strengthening and mild back bending, bringing energy into the body," Bielkus says. "Just like the name suggests, this pose awakens the warrior within -- power and strength, but with ease." <a href="http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/495" target="_blank">Click here for basic Warrior II instructions</a>, and try adding what Bielkus calls the "breath of fire" for an extra energy boost. "A great way to rev up this posture is to add in breath of fire -- rapid belly breath, focusing on the exhalation," Bielkus says. "To start, take a deep breath in and then pump the navel in as you exhale. The inhale will take care of itself."




  • Triangle Pose (Utthita Trikonasana)


    After Warrior II, try going into a restorative Triangle Pose. Straighten the front knee and extend the arm forward and then down to the shin, the floor next to the leg, or a block. Reach the other arm up and turn to face the sky, breathing deeply for five breaths, Bielkus advises. Then, repeat on the other side. "This pose is about fully expanding not contracting," Bielkus says. "Focus less about stretching and more about expanding and bringing breath and energy to every cell, every skin pore, every fiber of your being."




  • Side Plank (Vasisthasana)


    For the whole body-strengthening Side Plank, start in a plank pose. Turn to the right side, stacking the feet on top of each other, and lifting the left hand. Breath deeply for five breaths before repeating on the other side. If you're looking to modify the pose, Bielkus suggests bringing either the bottom knee or the forearm down to the ground. "Yoga brings our mind to a oneness and a focused attention," Bielkus says, regarding the balancing poses. "The more that we're coming into a mental clarity or focus, the less energy we're expending on that stress. The cortisol levels can drop and then we feel a little more energized."




  • Chair Pose (Utkatasana)


    The dynamic Chair Pose is performed by standing with the feet together or hip-width apart, and bending the lower body down as if you were sitting on a chair. Raise the arms to the ears and raise the chest up to complete the pose. "This pose is literally translates from Sanskrit as 'powerful' pose," says Bielkus. "Sometimes in class, I refer to it as lighting bolt pose because [of] the amount of energy it creates in the body by using the big muscles of the legs and glutes while also creating a slight backbend, which awakens the spine."




  • Half-Moon Pose (Ardha Chandrasana)


    In addition to warding off stress and anxiety, the Half Moon Pose can be therapeutic for fatigue, <a href="http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/784" target="_blank">according to <em>Yoga Journal</em></a>. In a forward fold, bring the right hand about 10 inches in front of you and slightly to the right, extending the left leg up while the hips and torso open. Extend the left arm up and hold the pose for five breaths before repeating on the other side. "Any balancing poses are great for finding that inner balance," Bielkus says.




  • Bridge Pose (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana)


    "Back bends are all about unlocking the energy of the spine and nervous system," Bielkus says. Lying on your back, bend the knees and place your feet flat on the floor with arms by your sides. Lift the hips up high and interlace the hands together or leave the arms at the sides of the body. Breathe deeply for five breaths and repeat several times.




  • Locust Pose (Salabhasana)


    For this strengthening pose, lie on your belly with arms by your side and palms down. Then, gently lift the arms, legs, chest and head off the floor and breathe deeply for five breaths, trying to lift up higher with each breath. Repeat three or four times, being careful not to strain the neck. For more of a challenge, extend the arms in front of you, as pictured at left. "You're really stimulating the upper, middle and lower back, and the muscles of the hamstrings are engaging" Bielkus says. "You're using so many muscles in the body to lift yourself off the earth. The neurons are firing to make that all happen."




  • Right Nostril Breathing (Surya Bhedana)


    This energizing <em>pranayama</em> (breathing exercise) offers a counterpoint to the calming <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/30/yoga-for-sleep_n_3505226.html#slide=2629257" target="_blank">left nostril breath</a>. To perform the exercise, sit upright in a chair or on the floor in a comfortable cross-legged position, blocking the left nostril with the thumb and extending the fingers. Breathe long and deep, in and out of the right nostril for around five minutes, Bielkus advises. "The right nostril is associated with the energy of the sun," Bielkus says. "This breath is stimulating, invigorating and awakening."