Clinton and Joann Wolf walk a corridor at the Sun Ridge at Desert Springs assisted living community. The couple have been married 63 years.
The moment Clinton Wolf caught a glimpse of Joann Penny's piercing blue eyes, he knew he had found his bride. The college sweethearts -- both attended Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene -- married the very year they graduated in 1950. Sixty-three years later, as the couple's eyes meet for the umpteenth time, that ol' spark was lit again.
Clinton got a big smooch from his still blushing bride, this time at the resident care, Sun Ridge at Desert Springs, in West El Paso.
"Every time she sees Dad, she just lights up," Julia Ortiz, Joann and Clinton's daughter, said. "She is very friendly and affectionate to every one but she only kisses him. He is her sweetheart."
The past two years have been difficult for the Wolf family -- Joann and Clinton and their four children, Ortiz, Gene Wolf and sisters Laura Nicholas of Lynden, Wash., and Sharon Lafayette of Austin.
Joann was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, a progressive disease that destroys memory and other important mental functions that are severe enough to interfere with day-to-day life.
"The family has hung together and we've tried to support Mom and Dad as much as we can," Ortiz said. "Dad can't come up that often because of his health, so I try to be their path to each other. I take a lot pictures of Mom and Dad. I'm with Dad a lot of the time. Mother doesn't know my name but she knows my face. She knows that I love her."
The memory loss associated with Alzheimer's disease persists and worsens over time and affects a person's ability to remember names of family members. They also tend to repeat statements and questions over and over, not realizing that they've asked the question before or they forget conversations, appointments or events.
Clinton Wolf, right, clasps the hand of his wife of 63 years, Joann Wolf, in her room at Sun Ridge at Desert Springs in West El Paso Thursday. At far left is their daughter, Julia Ortiz.
"She remembers everything I want her to remember," Ortiz said. "She remembers Dad, she remembers me, she remembers my siblings and she remembers God. She knows that no matter what she losses in her brain, she is never going to lose God and He is never going to lose her. That is what helps me through this. God's got her and He has my Dad so I'm very blessed because of that."
The memory lapses Joann would encounter occurred rather rapidly and progressively got worse.
"When she drove, she would forget where she was driving to," Clinton Wolf said. "She drove quite a while after we found out she had Alzheimer's. The problem was, she would keep getting lost. That was the biggest tell-tale sign that something was wrong."
Wolf, an easy-going, honest man, said it still hurts to see his wife in this condition, but he has learned to cope through patience and understanding.
"She recognizes our daughter who visits her everyday and recognizes me," he said. "Sometimes she calls my name and sometimes she cannot and that's OK with me. As long as she knows who I am. It is what it is so the best thing to do is cope with it. There is no need to fight it."
Wolf said they family recently discovered his wife's three cousins had Alzheimer's.
The risk of developing Alzheimer's appears to be higher if a first-degree relative -- your parent or sibling -- has the disease.
Benesa Jayme, resident care director at Sun Ridge at Desert Springs, said it is important that caregivers have a kind heart and patience when dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer's.
"Working with a patient with Alzheimer's requires a lot of redirection," she said. "You have to be loving, caring and motivated with a positive attitude."
Ortiz said subtle moments sometimes will trigger a memory for her mother.
"She was watching a movie on Tuner Classic Movies channel and she saw a scene with a horse and carriage," she said. "She had a horse when she was a little girl, so when she saw the horse that made her happy."
Wolf said he misses his wife's quick wit the most.
"She was a very sharp young lady," Wolf said, fighting through tears. "She graduated summa cum laude; she was second in her class. You have to wonder why this happened to her. You don't expect anything like this. I still see her as my college sweetheart, those are the memories I want to cherish."
Joann loves patriotic songs, reading Bible stories but most of all, her husband, four children 13 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren.
"It's amazing, they've made so many memories together," Ortiz said of her parents. "They had a great life together, a great friendship, a great romance. They always supported each other in whatever endeavors either one of them pursued. They never fussed about what each one of them was doing, they just supported each other. They are home for each other, they are each other's safe place."
Victor R. Martinez writes about medical and health issues. Contact him at 915-546-6128.
People with Alzheimer's disease experience a mixture of emotions -- confusion, frustration, anger, fear, uncertainty, grief and depression. If you're caring for someone with Alzheimer's, you can help them cope with the disease by being there to listen, reassuring the person that life can still be enjoyed, providing support, and doing your best to help the person retain dignity and self-respect. Here are some other ways to support your loved one:
•A calm and stable home environment can help reduce behavior problems. New situations, noise, large groups of people, being rushed or pressed to remember, or being asked to do complicated tasks can cause anxiety. As a person with Alzheimer's becomes upset, the ability to think clearly declines even more.
•Schedule wisely. Establish a routine to make each day more predictable and less confusing. Schedule the most difficult tasks, such as bathing or medical appointments, for the time of day when your loved one tends to be most calm and agreeable.
•Take your time. Expect things to take longer than they used to. Schedule more time to complete tasks so that you don't need to hurry your loved one.
•Involve your loved one. Allow your loved one to do as much as possible with the least amount of assistance. For example, perhaps your loved one can dress alone if you lay out the clothes in the order they go on.
•Limit choices. The fewer the options, the easier it is to decide. For example, provide two outfits to choose between -- not a closet full of clothes. Eliminate belts or accessories that are likely to be put on incorrectly.
•Provide simple instructions. When you ask your loved one to do something, do it one step at a time.
•Reduce distractions. Turn off the TV and minimize other distractions at mealtime and during conversations so that your loved one can better focus on the task at hand.
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