If you've ever felt unworthy -- because of your weight, your job, your relationship or any other fill-in-the-blank reason -- shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brené Brown[1] has a message she wants you to hear loud and clear: There are no prerequisites for worthiness.
"Most of us think, 'I'm pretty worthy of love and belonging -- but I'd be super worthy of love and belonging if I could lose 15 pounds,'" Brown says in the above clip from "Oprah's Lifeclass."[2] "'[Or] I made partner. Or my wife doesn't leave. Or I stay sober' –- or whatever our thing is."
In reality, none of that matters. "Worthiness is an as-is, here and now proposition," she says. "And to me, that's the definition of wholeheartedness. Wholeheartedness is about engaging with the world from a place of worthiness."
Though nothing should keep us from feeling worthy, Brown explains that our pool of shame[3] can run deep.
"I think in our families, we get handed down -- explicitly or not explicitly -- those prerequisites for worthiness. Sometimes it's because our parents look at us and say, 'Here's what you need to do and be and look like to be worthy.' And sometimes, we just watch."
"And sometimes, it's what we've done to ourselves," Oprah adds.
Oprah is teaming up with Brown to bring you a six-week ecourse, "Oprah's Lifeclass Presents Brené Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection."[4] Class has started by you can still register until Oct. 23 at midnight ET.
Also on HuffPost:
References
- ^ Dr. Brené Brown (brenebrown.com)
- ^ "Oprah's Lifeclass." (www.oprah.com)
- ^ pool of shame (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ "Oprah's Lifeclass Presents Brené Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection." (bit.ly)
- ^ Send us a tip (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ Send us a photo or video (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ Suggest a correction (www.huffingtonpost.com)
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