Rejection hurts, and scientists have found that the "feel good" hormone oxytocin makes people more likely to turn to others for comfort after a socially stressful event.


Published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology, the small new study from researchers at Concordia University's Centre for Research in Human Development shows that exposing people to oxytocin after an incident of social rejection makes them more likely to turn to others -- what researchers called "tend and befriend" mode -- instead of going into "fight or flight" mode.



"In distressed people, oxytocin may improve one's motivation to reach out to others for support. That idea is cause for a certain degree of excitement, both in the research community and for those who suffer from mood disorders," study researcher Christopher Cardoso said in a statement.


For the study, researchers had 100 students receive a nasal spray of either oxytocin or a placebo. The student participants also underwent personality tests to see which ones of them were more emotionally affected by social rejection.


Then, some researchers posing as students put the participants under social distress by purposely ignoring them, interrupting them or disagreeing with them. Researchers found that student participants emotionally affected by social rejection were more likely to have greater trust in others after the social rejection incident if they were given the oxytocin than if they were given the placebo.


Researchers noted that this finding could be especially useful in treating mental conditions like depression, which is tied to emotional distress and is known for spurring feelings of withdrawal instead of feelings of wanting to reach out for help from others.


Oxytocin may also have benefits beyond boosting social trust -- a study in the journal Biological Psychiatry showed that oxytocin could lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol in quarreling couples.


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    Research presented in 2012 found that something you might expect more from your mother -- nagging -- can actually work when it's coming from a pal who's pushing you to move more.

    In fact, the least active interviewees in this particular survey said they <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120418134852.htm" target="_hplink">needed and even <em>appreciated</em> a nudge</a> now and then from friends.

    And working out with a friend has the added benefit of keeping you committed to your workout plan. There's no rolling over to hit the snooze button on that a.m. run if someone is waiting for you to show up!

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    There's some truth behind friendship clichés like "a shoulder to cry on." In the face of great stress, talking with and leaning on friends really can help you get through troublesome times.

    A 2011 study found that among students, <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/10/111026091229.htm" target="_hplink">friendships helped reduce some of the stress of being bullied</a> or excluded at school.

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  • Friends Help You Live Longer


    It's not quite as simple as connecting with friends and, poof, you're guaranteed to live to 100. But there <em>is</em> a significant body of research linking strong social ties to a longer lifespan.

    Australian research found that <a href="http://jech.bmj.com/content/59/7/574.abstract?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=friends&andorexactfulltext=and&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&sortspec=date&resourcetype=HWCIT" target="_hplink">older adults with more friends were 22 percent less likely to die</a> during a 10-year study than their peers with fewer friends.

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