The drug trial my husband had been participating in for the past six months was recently discontinued. Baxter International Inc. announced the Phase3 IVIG Gammagard drug trial failed to meet its primary endpoints of reducing cognitive decline and functional abilities in a majority of patients with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s disease. The company said it would reconsider its approach and determine the next steps after full data analyses.
Byron continues to persevere with a sense of purpose, faith and humor while living with Alzheimer’s.
I asked his permission to record his thoughts and feelings about the trial and how he lives with the disease. I’m hopeful his words, which follow, will benefit and encourage others with the disease, as well as their friends and family members.
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I’m glad I participated in the trial because I felt I was making a contribution. I was part of something that was going to make a difference and mean a lot to many people I’ll never meet. Every one of the drug trials are designed to see what’s out there. I know if something is finished it could be for a variety of reasons, none of which is within my control.
After the trial ended the first thing I thought was OK, what next? What opportunities do I have now? My doctor assured me they plan to have other trials starting up in the fall, and he’ll be in touch with me to see if I’m interested in participating. I feel pretty good about that, and I want to be there to help.
I’ve learned over and over if you do things for yourself, just to benefit yourself, it’s kind of an empty thing to do. Yes, you may get something, but are you helping somebody else too? There have been so many people who have helped me that I have become real conscious of giving. If there’s anything I have or someone else sees that I have to give which could be of benefit, whether it is drug trials or playing the guitar, I’m willing to consider it.
We all have something we can do to help other people. We may think there’s not any real value in it, but its value is when it’s put into effect. It can be anything as simple as sending someone a thank you note for a kindness they’ve done. We’re not only told to help each other, it’s scripture and common sense as well.
Alzheimer’s does get your attention and prods you to start thinking about doing things that will not only benefit yourself, but others you know and those you may never know. There are too many people trying to look for things to take rather than to give, and a philosophy like that never leaves you satisfied.
We don’t live out here all by ourselves. There’s a lot of wisdom in “paying it forward.” You don’t do something to make yourself feel better; you do it because someone has done something for you. You know how it feels to receive, and we’re called to give back. I have been blessed to know people who have given me opportunities to give back.
I wish the Alzheimer’s wasn’t there, but wishing about something or complaining about it and keeping a bad attitude about something you have no control over is a useless thing. It burns your energy and your attention as well as your feeling for your fellow man. A negative attitude doesn’t get you anywhere other than where you already are. I’d like to contribute instead of complain and feel sorry for myself.
We all still have something, even if something has been taken away from us. I can still walk, I can still breathe, I can still help someone. I can still have faith and hope; I won’t see the blessings if I’m not looking for them. Maybe the greatest blessing of all is being an example for my children and grandchildren about how to live and persevere.
Everything I thought I’d lost I’ve found through the people who have helped me.”
— Dorothy and Byron Horne are Longview residents. She is a regular contributor to the Saturday Forum. Byron, a Longview entertainer, is an occasional contributor.
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