Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia is never easy. Caregivers face difficult challenges as they try to provide care and understand the behavior changes of their loved one. If you are a caregiver, there are a number of strategies that can help you cope with caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.
It’s important to set realistic and attainable goals in your caregiving. Of course you want to make everything all right with your loved one, but because Alzheimer’s can be so unpredictable, it helps to break down larger tasks into small ones and be realistic about your goals. Perhaps your goal is to be sure that your loved one is clean, comfortable and well fed. Accept success at 80 percent and be comfortable with a less than perfectly groomed loved one.
Communicating with someone with Alzheimer’s can be difficult at times as he or she is more likely to misinterpret what you are trying to say. This is very common with the disease. Focus on being as clear and concise as possible, and repeat the same words or message to help your loved one avoid confusion. Also, reduce any extraneous noise, such as turning off the TV or radio, when trying to communicate so that your loved one can more clearly focus on you.
As Alzheimer’s progresses, your loved one will most likely experience increasing difficulty when trying to communicate his or her needs and may appear to act out, such as shouting or striking something. It is important to remember that these behaviors are meaningful and not intentional. Your loved one is most likely acting this way because he or she can no longer explain what they want or need in words. If this happens, take a minute to slow down and try seeing the world through their eyes to understand better how they are feeling.
Enjoy happy times. Many people with Alzheimer’s remain physically fit and are able to continue with favorite activities. If possible, continue to socialize, travel and participate in activities that are enjoyable for both you and your loved one. Pull out photo albums or watch family videos and reminisce about past trips and experiences. You will both benefit from the enjoyment.
Be flexible and aware that your loved one’s needs will change over time. If strategies or techniques that you’ve been employing aren’t working, don’t continue to use them. Talk to your loved one’s doctor for advice on different approaches. And don’t be afraid to ask for — and accept — help. Get support from family and friends. Make a list of small tasks that others can help you with, such as going to the grocery store. Often times it’s the little things that can add up, and family and friends will want to help.
As a caregiver, never forget to also take care of yourself. Set aside time each day to do something just for you, even if it’s 30 minutes. Go for a walk, visit with a friend, retreat to your favorite place. It’s important to not lose sight that if you don’t take care of yourself, it will be more difficult to care for someone else. Your general physical well-being can also affect your outlook and ability to cope, so eat proper meals, exercise and be sure to see your own physician for regular check-ups.
Stay educated. Read and learn as much as you can about your loved one’s disease so that you can manage and plan for the future. Sign up for information and newsletters from organizations such as the National Family Caregivers Association, Family Caregivers Alliance, Eldercare Network and the National Alliance for Caregiving, all of which are helpful resources.
If financially feasible, consider paying for services to lighten your responsibilities. Home-delivered meals by a meals-on-wheels service are a wonderful option. Professional aides and nurses are available to hire for in-home care and can also offer assistance with personal care services.
Finally, don’t keep your emotions locked up inside. Develop a support system of family and friends that you can reach out to and, at the very least, talk with. Attend a caregiver support group where you can meet other caregivers to share stories and learn from their experiences. Often caregivers feel completely alone, but you’re not. When you can spend time with others who are in your same situation, everyone will benefit from sharing and become better caregivers.
Alicia Seaver is the executive director at Bridges by EPOCH in Hingham. She has 20-plus years’ experience in senior care and is certified by the Massachusetts Alzheimer’s Association as an Alzheimer’s/dementia trainer, support group facilitator and memory impairment specialist. She studied psychology at Springfield Technical College and Manatee Community College.
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